With a battle-cry of "Let Them Take the Bus" Dukakis Leads Assault on Westwood

 

Dukakis at War in Westwood

Today Apron Parking � Tomorrow the World

 

�Let Them Take The Bus!!!�

 

Michael Dukakis, the would-be leader of the Free World and Commander in Chief of the US military (insert tank photo) in 1988, is surging his forces in what might be his career-defining political fight.  The ex-Democratic nominee for president has commanded political cronies, university faculty and his UCLA students with a battle cry of �let them take the bus� he has declared war on� �apron parking�. 

 

Apron Parking is the term used when a car is parked in a driveway between the street and the sidewalk (not blocking the sidewalk for wheelchair reason). Local residents say ticketing apron parkers will take a bad parking situation even worse. Dukakis doesn�t care.  The neighborhood around UCLA, the North Village, has about 850 curb spaces and about 5,700 vehicles belonging to residents. Apron parking has been the norm in battle zone North Village Westwood, California for over 50 years.

 

But Dukakis says it has to end now.  He finds aesthetically offensive.  More specifically, according to some reports, his wife Kitty, finds it offensive.

 

The Dukakis Project, as it has been called, was architected by a Professor Shoup of UCLA is apparently a first step towards making driving and parking so onerous in Los Angeles that people will abandon their cars for the Public Bus system. For now, in Westwood, there is only one solution � �FLEXCARS.�  None of the residents interviewed understood how this concept works, but the Dukakis/Shoup team believes that once everybody is receiving $60 tickets, they�ll figure it out pretty quickly.

 

Dukakis, who lectures at UCLA half the year, launched a Winter Offensive, three years ago. His first strike was devastatingly successful. He took the enemy fully by surprise, when it is believed that he contacted his ally CHIEF BRATTON of the LAPD (who worked with him in Boston). Unfortunately, defecting LAPD officers, erroneously feeling that they had better things to do than hand out apron parking tickets, tipped off residents. The residents rose up and a truce was called. 

 

Last year, Dukakis struck again.  Now, he was rebuffed by a meter maid (see article).  But he wasn�t done. Armed with The Dukakis Project and a report by Professor Shoup, he feels certain of victory. Shoup thinks he has found a loophole in the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) which finds that Apron Parking is against Federal and State Law.  Unfortunately, detractors point out that San Francisco has recently voted to allow apron parking.  Dukakis loyalists might have to take their fight up north to that right wing bastion � the San Francisco City Council.

 

In the meantime, in the interest of promoting the Citizens with Disabilities Act senior citizens living in the neighborhood will have to climb tall hills after parking their cars in inconvenient areas.  �I�ve never seen a wheelchair come up these streets� Unless it were the monster truck of wheelchairs it would never make it.  Couldn�t make it through the busted up sidewalks.�   

 

Flint Dille, one of the residents miffed about Dukakis' meddling with the existing parking system, challenged Dukakis to a debate on the �John and Ken Show� a popular drive time show in Los Angeles, but Dukakis refused saying, �the debate is over.�  Curiously, neither Dille nor any of the other residents remember having a debate or even meeting Dukakis�  �Perhaps he doesn�t think the John and Ken show is big time enough for him.  Giuliani, another Bratton colleague seems to think the show is big time enough�  Then again, this is The Michael Dukakis.� 

 

Dille muses: �Still, I can�t believe he�s afraid to debate me. I�ve never run for office, never publicly debated. He�d mop the floor with me and I know it. I just want the little guy to have a voice.�

 

One idea for replacing the debate would be holding a live event in which contestants tried to push wheelchairs loaded with bags of manure, labeled with Shoup and Dukakis� names on them up the hill.

 

Recently, the Ghost of political strategist Lee Atwater appeared and was quoted as saying:  �It seems that Michael Dukakis wants to do for Westwood what he did for Boston Harbor.�

 

 

 

 

  (see L.A. Times Article �Dukakis Wins One In Westwood� (actually a premature title because he hasn�t won yet � that was October and he�s still fighting in June)).

 

 

 

Linked to the Drudge Report

 

 

http://hillaryspot.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OTJlMTZmNjIyMjUzYTRmOWNhMDg5NjUwNDMzYjMxNDM =

 

SOMETHING LIGHTER

Election Winners Declare War on Countries; Election Losers Declare War on Loose Parking Laws

From the "where are they now" department...

Michael Dukakis, the former governor of Massachusetts who Democrats nominated to lead the free world in 1988, is now a part-time professor at UCLA. In his new semi-hometown and position, Dukakis has declared war on... apron parking.

That's the term used when a car is parked in a driveway between the street and the sidewalk. Local residents say ticketing apron parkers will take a bad parking situation even worse. The neighborhood around UCLA, the North Village, has about 850 curb spaces and about 5,700 vehicles belonging to residents.

Opponents of Dukakis' scheme to ticket apron parkers gather here... Flint Dille, (flintdille@earthlink.net) one of the residents miffed about Dukakis' meddling with the existing parking system, has challenged Dukakis to a debate on the John and Ken Show on KFI and I've just been told Dukakis declined the invitation.

My guess is Dille wanted a chance to re-use President Bush's line, "that last answer was about as clear as Boston Harbor."

06/14 01:01 PM

 

 

 

flintdille@earthlink.net

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