Seen here Wexler P. Cranston, standing in University Place
with his newly issued Tandem Shoup-O-Meter manufactured by KiddeeCo,
of New Bedford, Mass.
The portable unit, which locks onto the wrist,
is now mandatory for all residents of Westwood Village.
One unit is for walking, the other unit is for standing still.
Anyone caught walking or standing still in the Village
with an expired Shoup-O-Meter, is subject to ticketing,
towing and a firing squad.
UCLA Professor D. Beemer Shoup, the inventor,
explained to anyone who would listen, that people
just don't understand, that walking or standing around
in a free country is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution.
The new rates for standing around in your own neighborhood
is mandated at $138.00 per day.