Wednesday, December 6, 2006


Subject: Mo' Bettah Dukakis mit spelling etc

Yih Ken Pahk Yah Cah at Hahvad Yahd
but at UCLA,
yah cahn't !

Dear Mike....
Blow it out your ear.

I could understand it
if perhaps,
you have some small issues
as regards finding yourself
all alone
in the midst of a center
for higher actual learning,
if only for a very short while.

You might feel
even trapped
among so many many,
very very big and scary
SUV's and stuff.

It must be terrifying
without your tank and trusty helmet.

It must really be scary out there
in the big world,
gettin' in the newspapers again.
Golly Gee Gosh Mike...
its just like the old days!

Except now,
instead of taking Federal Dollars
to service your absurd addiction
to providing answers to questions
that most folks would never ever
think of asking you, in particular,
in the first place;
you have to settle
for mere State Dollars
to keep the Mikey D. Show
on the road.

This is LA Mike !
no worries,
everyone gets it:
When you are dropped
in the Social Contract
to a second opening act,
bitch about the Parking Clause !

Here is a rapid syllabus on
Public Policy
for students abused in
the "Dukakis Project":

The best policy
any public can have
is to:
the petty gripings of
whose main claim
to 15 minutes
of anyones' attention
is as a laugstocking footnote
to American Presidential History;
a hubris filled man who was
at every level of governance
and leadership,
consistently in
over his head.

Yet somehow,
transplanted miraculously
in time and geography,
you have arrived anointed
in Westwood,
yea, rising up
heads and shoulders
above your neighbors
when it comes to dictating
the best policies
for a longstanding
creative community
which has creatively
solved its own problems
for 35 years.

Apparently Mike,
being an ousted political apparatchik,
and reaching out for an unethical boost
from a fellow Massachussetsian,
The Right Honourable etc etc Bratton
Chief O'Police,
( bypassin' the best needs, will and processes
of those actually involved in the problem
for the long term...)
is in not itself enough of a contradiction
to give you pause
as you reveal yourself
to be a cynical manipulator
of the best systemic protection
against pedagogues
offered a citizenry:
the very public fashion
in which we
debate and determine
our Public Policies .

( Your petty unethical manipulations of the public agenda
and backroom handshakes be damned.
its business as usual here in Bay State West,
eh Mikey boy?)

The actual residents of this community
must feel like Little Richard's character
in Down and Out in Beverly Hills.

I'm surprised you stopped
with the Police Chief, Mike.

I mean,
given how important you are and all,
I'm amazed ya didn't pick up the phone
and tell Der Governator to mandate that
the people who actually live
in the No Parking Zone of Hell
you have just created
under penalty of death,
drive cars
no longer than 5'8" tall..
oww, my bad (long)
Would that make it all better Mikey?
Perhaps we should all admit the obvious
and make all those big dangerous streets
One Way.
Would that help make it better Mikey?
I mean...whatever you want dude.

Its nice
when ya know
the very Cheef O' Police hisself,
from the olde country.
I imagine it comes in very handy.

But as an American Public told you
the last time anyone took yourself seriously,
We prefer "Public Policy" to be in the hands
of an informed and creative Public,
not shortsighted, shortcutting
visiting Politicians.

While your here Mike,
have a "wicket bitchin' time"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is the funniest thing I've read in the last 6 months.

Its perfect.
UCLA should be ashamed at having hired this second rate political hack to teach anything,let alone Public Policy.
Hell, why bother discussing Public Policy at all, when you can pick up the phone and avoid that pesky notion known as the democratic process?

No problem folks;
park as you always have.
If arrested and imprisoned,
Dukakis will undoubtedly take it upon himself to lobby for your early release...
That particular Public Policy is his forte.